Pass the Salt
by pinkfyulongdragon
Summary: A simple yet funny one-shot of a salty Alec getting thrown into what Jace believes is his place.
1. Pass the Salt

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story. This one shot is inspired by a tumblr post, posted by incorrect-sh-quotes.**

Jace is getting tired of Alec's attitude lately, especially when it comes to Clary. He loves his brother to death, but damn that boy is all salt. Give today as an example, Clary was showing real initiative by wanting to go on more low key missions to gain some experience. However, Alec catches Clary and Izzy about to head out and he stops them in their tracks. He kept denying the girls allowance to go on some small fry demon killing mission because "Clary is too incapable and incompetent to be galivanting the streets." Izzy warned Alec not to choke Clary with that short leash he has on her, and argues that she needs the experience.

Naturally, Alec not allowing Clary and Izzy to head out did nothing to stop the girls. I mean really, when did either of them look for permission from anyone? Although, Clary wishes there was a rune that allowed her to ignore the daggers Alec was staring into her back as herself and Izzy walked away.

Jace believes that Clary is only getting more reliable as she learns about the shadowhunter world and her true roots in it. Yet it seems the stronger Clary is and the closer she its with himself and Izzy, the more aggravated Alec gets. It isn't just Clary though. Alec has always been a bit of a grouch. Usually his grouchiness is somewhat dismissible as Alec being in one of his moods again, but lately its just too much.

Now all are seated at the dining table, including Maryse, Robert and Max who are staying at the Institute for the time being. Jace manages to snag the head of the table by playfully bantering with Robert in a way that puts Robert in a charmed trance, having him be seated at the placing next to Jace. Jace's charm seems to reach Maryse too since she doesn't give any mind over it. It does cause Alec, who is seated on the other side of Jace, in his usual place, to have disbelief dirty his face before he quickly washes it off to clean professional indifference. This makes Jace's lips tug up slightly with a combination of annoyance and playfulness.

Once dinner is served and everyone has a chance to shovel a few bites in, Izzy starts chattering to Clary about going on a trip to do some clothes shopping. It is a nice peaceful conversation, free of any business talk. Well, until Alec decided on a change of topic.

"Clary and Izzy had an adventure today despite it not being authorized," Alec exaggeratingly articulates.

Maryse's canine ears prick at the sound of disobedience. Robert shifts his attention from his mouth-watering meal, Izzy didn't cook tonight, and darts his eyes from Alec, to Maryse, the girls, and back to Maryse. Jace drops his charm and turns stone-faced by the time it takes him to face Alec.

"Alec, what's with you lately," Jace asks crossly.

"They disobeyed a direct order," Alec sternly replies.

"Oh please, Alec. The only reason you didn't allow them to go is because you have some kind of vendetta against Clary." Jace's voice is steadily increasing in volume as he and Alec get more heated with each other.

"I didn't allow them to go because Clary doesn't respect the rules. So, until she does she can train within the walls of the Institute." Alec's teeth are clenched so hard together it is something of a miracle they aren't shattering.

Maryse would typically be more involved in these kind of conversations, but honestly, she suddenly has a migraine that is making her previously perked ears droop.

"Sons, this is enough for now," Maryse voices with a sigh before Jace has a chance to continue retaliating against Alec. She looks at Clary, Izzy, and Alec as she addresses them, "Izzy, you know not to break orders. Alec, if a subordinate is not following your orders, you ought to consider why and then work on changing that. As for the rest, the three of you can report back to me later in the evening."

Jace is about to argue, against his better judgement, but Robert looks at him with a shake of the head and says, "It's time to put it down Jace." Jace's face tangles and knots into a displeased composition, but nods, leans back into his chair, and starts dancing his fork around his food.

About a minute or two has passed, but the level of brooding in the room makes the sun and the moon seem young in comparison. The tension in the room is the kind that a cricket dares not to break with even a single wishful chirp.

Maryse, however, is not a pitiful cricket, she fears nothing as small as awkward silence. She is the only one in the room that dare makes the bold move of snapping the silence with a quick and abrupt question, "Jace, may you pass the salt?"

Jace looks up from his fork's ballet performance to look up at Maryse. The rest of the group eye the two without lifting their heads. Except Max, he kept his eyes and head down, but his ears are very much eager to listen. For those who are watching, they notice Jace stare at Maryse. It is almost like Jace didn't understand what she asked, but didn't want to admit to it.

"Pass the salt," Maryse tries again, wondering if Jace didn't hear her the first time.

The thing is, Jace heard her just fine, it is merely that Jace has a mischievous side to him and when something is a little bit too mischievous, even for him, he freezes for a moment before ultimately doing it anyway.

When Maryse asks for the salt again, it breaks Jace's hypnotic state. Jace looks down from Maryse towards the salt just to the left of him, only to look back at Maryse with a sly smile. It is obvious he has something surreptitious at play as he pulls out his stele and draws a strength rune on his forearm. Everyone is now watching him openly, including Max, wondering what exactly Jace has in mind. With one more secretive grin, this time directed at the whole table, Jace swiftly leaves his seat, goes to Alec, pulls Alec's chair back while lifting him out of it, picks him up, and toss Alec on the table in front of Maryse.

Everyone's eyes are just about falling out and their jaws unhinging from disbelief over what just occurred. If someone had walked into the dining room at this very moment they would find a set of peculiarly displayed statues of a scene they would not be able to conclude upon.

Alec is the first to come back to life. Starting with, his neck as he tilts it fashionably to view the damage that has been damned upon him. He is likely better off not knowing for he finds himself caked in dinner, including what was on his mother's plate, as well as a collection of mutilated dishware.

Alec's face twists into a grimace that is only just barely short of being accompanied with a snarl. The kind of grimace that may has one confuse a person to be a wolf that hasn't fed for days. Gleaming white teeth exposed by the stretched lips and the scrunch of the nose. A grimace complimented with a venomous glower deeply rooted in the soul's gleaming windows. The grimace that creates all understanding to everyone that sees its horrid sight is that its owner is incredibly and undoubtedly salty.

The tongue recoiling, eye squinting, eyebrow raising saltiness of Alec's expression has the siblings, plus Clary, break their stone figures with side splitting, eye tearing, chest compressing laughter. The parents held much more dignity as they gently unfroze, although Robert muffles a small chuckle with a pierce of the lips.

"Children that's enough," Maryse barks, but the laughter fails to cease.

"Your mother is right kids," Robert tries to say, but by the end of the sentence he is laughing too.

Hearing his father laughing Alec is pushed over the edge. He swings himself off the table with such force the table wobbles just enough to knock over the tall, narrow salt shaker causing salt to dust its surface. Alec's face scorches with blistering heat as he is stops wide-eyed of an Angel's mockery that has fated him to topple the salt over of all things. Naturally, this event causes the cachinnating to increase in volume, and it is amazing no one passes out from laughter. Alec is on the move again, purposely giving Jace a shouldering shove as he passes.

"Oh, come on. It is all in good fun," Jace hollers at his older and much grumpier brother.

Alec doesn't look back at the herd of hyenas, who needs them when they are being like this anyways? Instead he leaves them behind, looking forward to be rid of their echoing cackles, and marches out of the Institute in search of someone that isn't a complete a-hole.

 **I hope you are enjoying it so far! Please review! Thx!**


	2. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Magnus is lounging leisurely on his sofa with his feet up, a purring cat on his lap, and a cocktail in hand. Magnus turns on some music with a snap of his fingers and really sinks into the sofa. He is enjoying his precious and rare moment of complete ease. There are no appointments from clients today and no demanding shadowhunters knocking at his door. He can breathe with ease of a peaceful, stress-free evening.

Magnus sips at what he believes to be a much-deserved drink only to be cursing moments later by an abrupt rapping at his door. Magnus apologetically moves the now disgruntled cat and gathers all the ripped shreds of will that involves dealing with this intrusion.

Magnus isn't expecting the person who bursts through his door, but he is overjoyed to see his beloved Alec stride through the threshold.

"Alexander, what brings you-," Magnus is cut off as he tries to suppress his laughter. Standing before him is a clearly disgruntled Alec, but that's not what is humourous. Rather, it is the layers of potatoes, garnish, dressings, and what seems to be shards of dishes that coats and stains Alec's clothing everywhere.

"Not you too," Alec practically whines as he catches Magnus' amused expression.

"I am sorry Alec, but I simply do not understand the kind of role-play you are going for." That comment earns Magnus on of Alec's classic salty looks. Magnus, however, feels even more amused by the silent retaliation. He loves Alec, but he can be so easy to tease, it makes it hard not to at times. Still, Alec clearly came for his support so he will provide it properly. With a flourish of dramatic gestures, Magnus magically switches Alec out of his dirty clothes and into a nice fluffy robe.

"I know you aren't so keen on my wardrobe, but if you threw them out Magnus-"

"Relax love, they are merely in the wash. Although, I do really want my hands in gifting you a new wardrobe."

"Magnus, no."

"Very well," Magnus temporarily surrenders. "Please come in and tell me what events led to you being covered in dinner."

Alec follows Magnus to the sofa where Magus had been peacefully resting not long before. Alec seats himself first, but once Magnus sits himself next to him. Alec quickly uses Magnus' shoulder as a welcoming pillow. Their hands seamlessly navigate towards each other until they are perfectly entwined.

"Jace threw me across the dinner table," Alec starts his explanation.

"You're going to have to offer me more of the story if you wish for me to understand my dear Alec."

"Clary went out to fight demons with Izzy despite my direct order not too."

"And this made Jace throw you across the table?" Magnus raises his eyebrows at Alec's so far jittery story.

"Well Jace thinks i am singling Clary out, so we were arguing at dinner."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Singling Clary out," Magnus states. Alec can have a hard time with change, and Clary has been the dropped stone that causes the rippling effect.

"She is constantly breaking orders, and does things to her own will," Alec says heatedly. Can not one person understand how frustrating it is to be constantly following orders by the 'T' only to have some ignoramus stride in and not care about any kind of order? Alec is clenching his teeth as the thought of Clary angers him.

"She wasn't raised a Shadowhunter. What may hold meaning and purpose to you was done so from years of reinforcement. To Clary, it is a constant struggle in a world she has up until now belonged to but not in." Magnus doesn't mean to get so serious, but he felt like Clary's perspective should be presented in a calm way for Alec to fully understand. Thankfully, Alec nods in agreement, and Magnus relaxes again after not realizing he had tensed. "But way the act of throwing you?"

"Jace thinks he is funny."

"There was no other reason?"

"He was mad at me."

"Alec, I do enjoy you sharing things with me, but while you share things with me please don't leave me guessing."

With a deep sigh Alec begins, "Everyone was silent after Jace and I were told to stop our fighting. My mother asked Jace to pass the salt, so he decided to pass me instead."

Magnus tries his very hardest not to laugh for Alec's sake, but it isn't long before he is laughing to the point of tears. Alec in return is quick to lift his head from Magnus' shoulder and stare at his boyfriend with disbelief and hurt.

"I'm sorry Alexander," Magnus says while wiping the tears from his eyes, "But it is incredibly funny."

"Fine," Alec spits. He shifts to get up and leave only to be stopped by Magnus' hand caressing his face.

"Please don't leave, I am sorry." Magnus somehow is able to cease his laughter and look sincerely over at Alec. He leans over and lightly kisses Alec for a lingering moment, then leans back to look at Alec pleadingly.

Alec bites his lip. He doesn't like being teased, but he isn't good at resisting Magnus' charm either. Probably because he has no desire to resist it at all.

"Okay."

_ooOoOOOoOoo_

"Do you think Salty isn't mad anymore?" Jace asks Clary as they wait for the commercials on the tv to pass.

"What you did was pretty mean Jace," Clary says.

"But you guys were laughing, it was funny." Jace defends himself.

"Still though."

 **I hope you enjoyed! Please Review!**


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